Edna's Blog

Edna Vs. Disney's A Christmas Carol

2009-11-30T15:15:00.000-08:00

I left Edna home one day to go see ‘Disney’s: A Christmas Carol’ with the cast members from 'Hale Centre Theatre's: A Christmas Carol'

We did not approve.

This kind of animation really freaks me out. It looks too plastic-y and nobody has a realistic expression on their face.

In this version Scrooge falls and rolls down stone stairs, flies through the air, shrinks, is hit in the face, runs a marathon, falls 8-10 feet, and then bounces back from it all as if he weren’t the 70+ year old man he is depicted as. If I were a member of the geriatric society I’d be up in arms about this.

They also made some weird changes to this story. For some reason they rearranged and cut some dialogue from the original version, and then added in an extensive and irrelevant chase scene through the streets of London that I don’t think Dickens had in mind when he wrote the story.

Plus in the end, Cratchit turns around and suddenly starts talking to us as the narrator, where have you been the whole time when I needed you to explain all the stuff that didn’t make sense.

I prefer the 25 minute version Disney made years ago starring Mickey.

Edna loved this

2009-11-25T13:36:00.000-08:00

Cats for Gold

2009-11-20T11:44:00.000-08:00

This is the best news I've heard today

Don't wait on this, the offer won't last.

Find out more information at catsforgold.com

Movie Reviews: This is It vs. Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Assistant

2009-11-06T12:59:00.000-08:00

Michael Jackson's 'This is It'-

That was it?

(This photo is about 3 noses ago)

Cirque Du Freak: The Vampires Assistant-

This film was excellent, but I have a feeling that it will get snubbed at the oscars, despite the fact that they are featuring 10 films in the 'best film' category this year. Few thoughts:

When did John C. Reilly become a headliner?

Michael Cerveris is a Tony award winning stage actor. Clearly he's making good career decisions.

What's up with this?

Willem Defoe looks just like Vincent Price. I plan on offering him the role for the screenplay I'm writing 'Priceless: The softer side of Vincent'

This movie was almost as good as Twilight (or as New Moon is anticipated to be). It's an ensemble movie with a fine cast. Most of the cast is barely seen at all in the movie, which is nice (it keeps the movie nice and short when all the 'acty' parts are edited out)

Really, what's not to like?

The Pumpkin Dance

2009-10-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

This might be the most terrifying thing I've ever seen in my life.

That's not Ray Parker Jr. either.

2009 Chili Cook Off

2009-10-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the 2009 OC Tanner Process Team Chili cook off. Of my team of 20 we had 5 people bring in their home made chili's for the contest. It was some stiff competition. Last year, for some reason my white chicken chili came off a little soupy, this year I made some adjustments and it came out quite a bit spicier than it usually does. The judges came by around lunch time and took copious notes of the chilis. Mine wasn't the only white bean chicken chili. There were also some traditional recipes and one that was really good that had a lot of cinnamon in the recipe.

But still, I took this award. It will join the many other lucite frames that sit in my cubicle.

It got a little awkward, because I made the awards, asked the judges to come and taste the chili's and then won. But that's not going to stop me from keeping the title.

Twilight is coming

2009-10-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

Twilight is coming pretty soon. I already have my tickets, not for the night it opens, but the night after.

Angie found this web

site

http://www.instyle.com/instyle/makeover/, where you can upload a photo of yourself, and then you can put the hairstyles from the Twilight on your head to see what you would look like as Edward or Jacob.

So Here's me with Robert Pattinson's hair.

And Taylor Lautner.

And Zac Efron.

And Barack Obama.

And Joe Jonas.

With as long as my hair is right now, I think I'm well on my way.

This is Halloween

2009-10-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

or FHE this week a group of us got together to carve our pumpkins and eat bosco beans. I think bosco beans are the best part of halloween. They were delicious, I even made a vegetarian chili for some of the group who don't like meat.

The carving was great and everyone's pumpkin turned out.

I decided to use props this year, and added a parsnip and toothpicks to mine.

Bryan made his into Jack Skellington, and so did John

We should have saved the pumpkin seeds, but cleaning and cooking them sounded like a lot of work.

Bruce's 3 Year Service Anniversary

2009-10-27T12:04:00.000-07:00

At OC Tanner we celebrate employee's service anniversaries. Last week was my friend Bruce's 3 year anniversary. Usually for anniversaries a person's manager and co-workers will get up and say nice things, but for Bruce, a few of us got together and decided to do something different for him.

This is Garrick, Ron, Darin & I singing a funny song we put together.

I've been told I look like this guy

2009-10-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

Angie says I look like Parker Lewis.

I think it's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Now I just need to work on not losing.

Edna Reviews: 'Where the Wild Things Are'

2009-10-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

I saw ‘Where the Wild Things Are’

Now I take umbrage with:
Bi-Polar Monsters
Balls of Twine
Stuffed animals
Sailboats
Children
Buffalo/rhinos
Dirt Clods
Snow owls
And vague/existential/plotless movies.

That's all.

Work

2009-10-21T13:22:00.000-07:00

I work at OC Tanner, and I really like my job. I was originally hired to be the 'bench Brochure Professional' to help pick up the slack when we were very busy, and when there was an opening on a regional team within the company, to eventually get assigned there permanently.

Thing is, because of the economy, we slowed down a bit, and nobody has left the company in ages, so I'm still here on the bench. I wouldn't trade it though, I love my team, and being here on the bench has allowed me to work with a lot of great people on a lot of different projects.

Recently I got put on the International Project here at work. For a couple months me and a few other members went to a lot of meetings and tested double-byte characters so that we can now translate all of our verbiage into every language. It was a little different, one night the team had to come into work at 10:00 pm and stay until 3:00 am. Being on the team was a lot of fun, but the coolest part was when I got back from Vegas I had this waiting on my desk.

Not only this awesome star-trek looking trophy that I keep here in my cubicle, but I got another recognition at work award (with a gift certificate) that allowed me to get this.

So, now I have great teeth and an awesome trophy. Thanks, Obert!

Vegas '09 Baby!

2009-10-20T08:35:00.001-07:00

I left Edna home to escape to America's Playground a couple weeks ago. It was amazing fun!

We went to the Tournament of King's at Excalibur for medieval times! Stefanie met Gandalf and Garrick met a showgirl.

We also saw Mystere, the Cirque De Soleil show, it was amazing.

Here's the whole gang

We stayed at the Planet Hollywood right on the strip, and did some great sightseeing.

The last night we saw the outside (free) show at Treasure Island (it wasn't very good).

Someday I'll be rich enough to stay at the Bellagio, that place has got style.

I think the best thing they have there are the fountains at the bellagio, we watched them for about a half hour. I want one for my front yard.
On the wall of our hotel they had Joe Jonas's hand prints, no sign of his purity ring though. (guess he took it off for this).

It was a great trip and I still feel full from the buffet at Planet Hollywood. It was so much fun, everyone's already planning Vegas 2010!

Edna's Stage Debut

2009-10-16T09:00:00.001-07:00

For those of you lucky enough to see it, Edna and I were recently in a stellar production of a Scarlet Pimpernel at the Hale Centre Theatre, in Salt Lake City. It was Edna's stage debut, and both she and I got reviewed in newspapers.

One article that mentioned Edna specifically called her an 'unnecessary distraction' (http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,705323483,00.html?pg=2)

I couldn't be more proud of Edna. She really took to the stage and let her talents shine. Now that she's got the taste of theatre, she'll be auditioning for everything.

Another article that mentioned me specifically said this "One other weak moment in the production came when Seth A. Larson, a good actor who plays Marguerite's brother, did not match her vocal quality during a duet." (http://www.inthisweek.com/view.php?id=1130478)

Personally, I took this article and review to heart, since it came from such a reputable source, and from a prestigious news source such as "inthisweek.com". And the reviewer has such incredible writing skills, it's hard not agree with her.
Edna and I both miss performing in this show, we are both sad to have it be over so soon. I'm still working on getting her a small role in Christmas Carol, the next project that I'm working on.

Any mention in a review is a good mention right? (except when it's horribly insulting...)

I'm back

2009-10-15T12:55:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been far too long and far too much has happened over the last several months. Edna & I opened and closed 'The Scarlet Pimpernel' as her stage debut, she was stellar (but more on that later). I went to the flaming gorge for a fantastic weekend (but more on that later) and I just recently went to Las Vegas (but more on that later). First and foremost though I wanted to let everyone know about my recent winnings.
I just received this in my email, telling me that all I have to do is contact the minister of Foreign Operations Manager in Belgium and let him know my bank account number so that he can deposit 1 million euros into my account. According to Mrs. Helena Von Mckenzie, the Vice President of .... something, it's a sure fire deal.

So, lucky me! You can all expect stellar Christmas gifts this year, since I'll be rolling in it.

The Best Video I've Seen Today

2009-06-09T09:20:00.001-07:00

Nothing warms my heart like news of a Saved By The Bell Reunion

This is how I want my life to be

2009-06-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

See this guy?

I want to be like this guy.

He knows how to start a party.

Best Video I've Seen Today

2009-05-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

The First Minute, good
The Second Minute, better
2 Minutes 15 seconds, that's when it just starts getting good.

Commit to this video for 2 minutes and 15 seconds. You won't regret it. Then you can turn it off (I couldn't, I watched the whole thing)

Kudos, to Clay for sharing this with me.

Edna's Stage Career

2009-05-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

Recently, Edna had an incredible stage opportunity handed to her. She was asked to be in the upcoming stage production of 'Hello Dolly!' at the Hale Centre Theatre here in Salt Lake City. She had a wonderful part in the parade scene, and worked diligently on her cues and choreography. She attended a couple of rehearsals and made some great friends.

Unfortunately, after 2 short rehearsals, Edna was cut from the show. She was very disappointed. Although she was born for the stage, the lead, Dolly, is highly allergic to animals, even good tempered Edna's.

She came, she conquered the stage, and was cut. It's a thankless business.

Leonard Nimoy's Finest

2009-05-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

In honor of the new Star Trek movie premier, here's Leonard Nimoy, in his finest and most well known performance.

Enjoy

Life Update, May 1st 2009

2009-05-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

Well it’s been way too long since I’ve blogged and now my whole life has changed. Here, are the highlights from the last month or so.
Laser Eyes
In the beginning of April I got my eyes lasered. Now I don’t wear glasses anymore. It’s like the difference between Superman and Clark Kent.

I’m even better looking than I was before and I have to keep re-introducing myself because nobody recognizes me as the same person.

I celebrated my One-Year anniversary in my highly successful career at OC Tanner. I love my job. To celebrate they awarded me with a fine coleman lantern for my future camping trips, and a white gold lapel pin with a 1-point diamond set in it. That’s right 1/100th of a Karat. That’s how much I’m worth now.

I’ve started working on my next show at the Hale Centre Theatre as the Production Assistant on 'Hello Dolly!'. It’s a bit time consuming, but I don’t mind it as much since Edna has been cast as a feature role in the Parade scene. This is Edna’s first opportunity as a performer, and she is very excited. They cast her without even an audition, so I have to explain to the cast and crew how she is not very smart, or well behaved.

The whole family came to Zion this last weekend so we could take our picture in the rain, which we did. I hope the photographer photoshops the water out, and the umbrellas, and my sour expression.

I was asked by one of my managers to put together a little flyer for out teams Cinco de Mayo celebration, here it is, a tasteful celebration of all things Mexican.

Why Edna isn't allowed to drive

2009-03-18T08:39:00.001-07:00

or watch Japanese television for that matter.

Ednas New Favorite Blog

2009-03-13T14:40:00.001-07:00

http://www.sexypeople-blog.com/

Molly showed this to me, and I laughed and laughed. It was uncomfortable because I was at work.

Edna Reviews: 'Marley and Me' and 'He's Just Not That Into You'

2009-03-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

Last week I went and saw a couple of movies. They both starred Jennifer Aniston, which seemed strange. It’s like when you go for months without seeing an old friend and then you run into them 3 times in the same week.

For my money, I don’t like to see Rachel Green date anybody but Ross Gellar, but I’ll take what I can get until the ‘Very Special Friends Reunion Episode’

These movies are 2 fine examples in the ‘Books that probably shouldn’t be forced into screenplays but we’ll do it anyway’ category.

Marley & Me
I left Edna at home to go and see this one. I read the book and didn’t think after she would appreciate the ending after her negative reaction ‘Old Yeller’ and ‘Where the Red Fern Grows’. She does however enjoy watching the ‘Air Bud’ film series.

First of all, Jennifer Aniston is way too hot to end up with Owen Wilson.

Second of all, I thought this movie was going to be about the dog, but I’ve heard a lot of people calling this movie ‘& me’ because it’s really about Owen. It’s all about Owen.

This movie lacked all the charm that the book had in it. In the end poor Marley just gets a bad reputation. They make him out to simply be badly behaved with irresponsible owners, not a quirky sweet dog with too much personality. I’m sure to the average outsider Edna might seem like an ill behaved animal. What the world doesn’t understand or appreciate is that Edna, like the real Marley from the book, is just special.

If you’ve seen the movie, make a note: never bury a necklace that your husband gives you on an anniversary with your deceased dog. I have a feeling you’ll regret it later in life.

Overall: entertaining I guess, but not what it should have been.
He’s Just Not That Into You

I liked this movie, even though it felt a little long towards the end there. Plus, everyone popular is in it, including Kris Kristofferson, who’s acting styles always polish a film.

You know who I’m just not that into? Drew Barrymore, thankfully, even though she’s a producer on the show, she gave herself a really small part, so I didn’t have to watch her for very long.

Ben Affleck is in this movie too, another one of my least favorites. I’d like to send a special kudos to his wife and star of the hit show ‘Alias’, Jennifer Garner, who must have encouraged him to take some acting lessons, because this time he scored some points with me, but he’ll never redeem himself for what he did in ‘Daredevil’. Well played Ben Affleck, well played.

Overall, good movie. Ben Affleck and Drew Barrymore were hardly in it, which is the perfect amount. There was plenty of chortle moments, and a couple of hearty guffaws to boot.

Another Reason to love the Iphone

2009-03-03T07:56:00.000-08:00

As if there weren't enough reasons already.

The Mostly Recent Past

2009-02-23T15:07:00.000-08:00

I haven’t updated Edna’s blog in awhile, I’ve just been busier than usual. Here are some of the highlights from my recent past:

In October I switched to using an electric razor, a couple weeks ago I figured out that wasn’t working, so I switched to using an olde timey razor from the 60’s. So now it’s like I’m shaving in the past instead of the future.

After Sundance I was looking forward to having a big chunk of cash burning a hole in my wallet. Unfortunately I got a flat tire. For reasons which are still beyond me, I had to buy all four new ones. These four suckers cost me $700.00. Biggest issue: Don’t call the store ‘Discount Tires’ if you’re going to charge me $700.00. So, now the All-New Nissan Rogue has 4 all new tires on it. Thank you, Sundance.

Last night I saw Sir Ben Kingsley as a presenter on The Oscars. I still have his cell phone number from driving him around during Sundance ’08. I thought about calling him while he was on stage talking to see if he would answer. (I totally chickened out though)

I went home to California for my cousins wedding, and as soon as I left, everyone there suddenly started throwing up. I have that effect on people.

Recently I went and saw a very fine performance of ‘Romeo & Juliet’ by professional actors at Pioneer Theatre Company. As soon as I sat down I fell asleep and slept through a large portion of the first act. I woke up for intermission and really enjoyed the second half. There were a lot of shouting, death, exposition, and jokes I didn’t understand. I really enjoyed the fighting though.

Best nap I’ve ever had.

Dogs on the loose.

2009-02-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

This is amazing. Edna could learn a few tricks from this streetwise Dog from Murray.

Who's The Boss?

2009-02-02T12:12:00.000-08:00

Edna loves the half time show, she also loves Bruce Springsteen. She doesn't enjoy him abusing a camera before the eyes of America

At the superbowl party I was at, we watched this clip about 4 times, once in slow motion.

There's a moment, when you can see the fear in The Boss's eyes as he realizes that he's 1) way to old to be pulling maneuvers like this 2) going way too fast 3) about to run into a camera.

I wonder if the camera man got a black eye. I also wonder how the camera man explains said black eye to his wife and family.

Bruce Vs. The Super Bowl Half Time Show? = Half Time Won

Groundhogs Day

2009-02-02T10:42:00.000-08:00

Edna loves rodents, and, she hates winter. So when she learned about a holiday dedicated to those themes, she was very pleased.

Ultimately Edna was disappointed however, since Punxsatawney Phil saw his shadow, which means NO early spring, and she read on wikipedia that groundhogs are not indigenous to the great state of Utah.

Ultimately she's disappointed with this holiday. Why would we want to get our hopes up thinking that maybe we might get an early spring, only to have them dashed 97 out of 121 times. Seems like we're getting consistently gipped. Maybe we need a new tradition.

Read the full story here:
http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2009Feb02/0,4670,GroundhogDay,00.html

Chinese New Years Resolutions

2009-01-26T12:44:00.001-08:00

This year I started my resolutions with everybody else. But due to forces beyond my control I completely forgot about them and they went the way of all the world.

Today, however, is the first day of the Chinese New Year, the year of the Ox or something like that. According to Chinese Scholars, they're not really sure what year we're in, it's either 4707, 4706, or 4646, which must be a nightmare for the IRS over there. So, in light of this freshest beginning, I'm setting my resolutions back at zero all over again. Plus, if I write them down this time/make them public I’ll be less likely to forget about them or ignore them.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Better Diction: This is an admirable goal for anyone to undertake. Next year: Speelling

Finances: Get some. They’re hard to manage if you don’t have any to start with.

Get a new president, preferably one who is African American: I think I’ve got this one pretty much sewn up.

Photo a day: I used to do this on my mission. It was great because for the last year or so I had almost a day by day chronicle of events. Now it might just be a picture of my cubicle or of Edna, but it’s the thought that counts (like with gifts)

Do more things outdoors: why not? I’ve never been to Zion’s Naitonal or Mt. Timpanogos, or really anywhere but beautiful Provo canyon.

Make out with Elizabeth Shue: I kind of missed my window of opportunity with this one now that Sundance is over. I blame Andrew.

I was talking to my friend Zhen here in the OC who grew up in China, and he says because it’s new years I owe him some cash in a little red envelope. Lucky for me, I have no cash and only white envelopes.

So who wants to go kayaking?

Star Sightings: Sundance FF

2009-01-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

Just saw that one guy with the accent from Short Circuit 2

Mobile Blogging from here.

Just saw Liam Neeson (spelling?) that's right: jean valjean

Sundance

2009-01-15T21:39:00.000-08:00

As some of you know I'm heading to drive for Andrew at sundance for the week. It'll be a wild ride, but that's how I roll. I'll keep you posted on what's up through my iPhone.

Originally I was supposed to drive Christy Brinkly, then I got switched. Then I got switched back to Christy Brinkly. Now I've been switched again but I'm not sure who to yet. I suspect that it's Christy Brinkly though. She probably got talking to Ben Kingsley and found out what a good job I did for him last year.

Mobile Blogging from here.

Edna Reviews: Valkyrie

2009-01-15T10:17:00.001-08:00

Valkyrie

*Spoiler Alert*

I don't want to ruin the end for anyone.

I left Edna home the other night and went and saw this blockbuster feature film. Edna doesn't care for war epics, nor does she care for Nazi's.

This movie was directed by one Mr. Bryan Singer. He is making quite a list of enemies with his message movies. Now he can add Nazi's to his list of enemies, along with Lex Luthor and Magneto.

I love any film with Terrence Stamp in it. I think everything he touches turns to gold. I wanted him to tell Adolph to kneel before Zod, but he didn't.

After watching this I think Tom Cruise could bring being one handed and the eye patch back into style.

Sadly, I think I have the entire third reich inseparably connected to Julie Andrews and the Sound of Music. I kept expecting Rolfe and Liesl to come out and burst into song. I think if Tom had tried a few more musical numbers instead of staging a coup, things might have turned out a little differently.

It's hard to watch a 2 hour epic when you know that Hilter is going to make it out A-Okay at the end.

A poem for Edna

2009-01-11T14:43:00.000-08:00

Ahem

Oh, there once was a Puffin
Just the shape of a muffin,
And he lived on an island
In the bright blue sea!

He ate little fishes,
That were most delicious,
And he had them for supper
And he had them for tea.

But this poor little Puffin,
He couldn't play nothin',
For he hadn't anybody
To play with at all.

So he sat on his island,
And he cried for awhile, and
He felt very lonely,
And he felt very small.

Then along came the fishes,
And they said, "If you wishes,
You can have us for playmates,
Instead of for tea!"

So they now play together,
In all sorts of weather,
And the Puffin eats pancakes,
Like you and like me.

I need this

2009-01-08T10:19:00.001-08:00

The Watch Phone. Must have it.

Kristen Wigg is my hero and my homeboy

2009-01-08T09:16:00.000-08:00

Makes me laugh, makes me laugh real good.

Utah in the News

2009-01-07T14:15:00.000-08:00

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Better Know a District - Utah's 3rd - Jason Chaffetz

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

With Colbert on board, Utah gets a lot more funnier

Movie Reviews: Doubt vs. Benjamin Button

2009-01-05T10:12:00.000-08:00

Over the long New Years weekend, I got the chance to catch a couple of movies that have been on my docket. Here are our thoughts.
Edna loves Brad Pitt. And I love Cate Blanchett. What we don't like is seeing them get old, or young.

Saw ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’
I can really empathize with the main character, but instead of getting younger every year, I just get better looking. Almost the same in my book.

I liked watching Mr. Pitt get CGI’d to be younger every year. I want to get CGI’d

This movie was exceptionally long, I felt as if I’d been sitting through it for 80 years.

Can’t wait for the sequel, ‘The Curious Case of Timothy Burton’, it will be clay-mation and star Johnny Depp as Tim Burton. In it, Tim Burton will be born a normal child but will get progressively weirder every year.

Saw ‘Doubt’
I can’t wait for it to come out on Blue Ray. This is the kind of drama you have to see in high definition to really appreciate.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman is a giant scary red faced man.

Last time we saw Meryl Streep in Mama Mia she was a singing single mother who couldn’t remember which of three men had gotten her pregnant while gallivanting around the greek isles. Now she’s an uptight nun. What, a dynamic actress.

Amy Adams is especially memorable because she looks like she is terrified of everyone in her convent.

I think everyone in this movie deserves an Oscar or 2 (Including the lady from Ghostbusters who's uncle thought he was St. Jerome). Meryl & Hoffman especially. They yell at each other a lot. And nothing says good acting like yelling.

Bizarro World

2009-01-02T18:24:00.000-08:00

Can you imagine turning the corner in your house and seeing this?

For some reason this whole scenario scares the tar out of me.

It's never too late for the Christmas Shoes

2008-12-31T07:48:00.000-08:00

This is my friend Matt Mattson. He is very very funny and lives in Provo. I watched this last night for the first time and I'm still laughing

Edna's Christmas

2008-12-30T12:32:00.000-08:00

Edna and I had a very happy christmas, and Edna must have been a very good girl, because Sant brought her everything that she was hoping for on her christmas list. She received a remote control helicopter, that she loves to hate, an entire gift basket of dog treats from the Barney family, and a new chew toy from Aaron that she's already destroyed. This year in our family we decided that we should exchange gifts on a theme. Dan had my name and he made me this little gem:

This lovely plaque was personalized just for me, it now sits here on my desk, in my cubicle at OC Tanner, reminding everyone about the importance of warmth and the christmas spirit. Kudos to Daniel for the wonderful gift.

(Another little gift I brought home with me was mild case of pink eye that's clearing up with the help of some anti-biotics)

Growing Famous-er by the minute

2008-12-29T14:19:00.001-08:00

http://edna.is-my-hero.com/

Check it, yo

Movie Reviews: Seven Pounds & Seven Years in Tibet

2008-12-29T10:08:00.000-08:00

I recently watched 2 movies with the words seven in their title. Coincidence? Probably

The first one was this little nugget (from '97): Seven Years in Tibet.

I liked it, because I could take a nap through portions of it and nothing had changed.

Brad Pitts hair was exceptionally blonde, and his accent, well, it was not quite austrian.

I give it, 2.5 stars, for a really good try.

The other film I saw was this one: Seven Pounds.

Will is great in it, so is Rosario, but oh my gosh it is a total downer.

I think there's a lot more good that someone can do with their life.

So how about 3 stars, because he didn't have an austrian accent.

I miss the days when Will was just the fresh prince/man in black/vampire scientist/muhammad ali/wise cracking lovable misfit superhero.

'Welcome to erff', 'welcome to erff' indeed.

Hollywood News Update - Dunst Checks Her Stalker

2008-12-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

So apparently Kirsten Dunst has a stalker, and her stalker now has a restraining order.

Some may ask 'who would stalk Kirsten Dunst?' or 'WHY would someone stalk Kirsten Dunst?' or 'was it Captain Hook?' (because she looks like Peter Pan), but if you want more details, you can read the full article here.

http://www.newsweek.com/id/176676

Apparently her assistant arrested the stalker, (how does that work?), and although nobody in the party showed up to court (Dunst, the Assistant, or the Stalker) the judge was willing to give her what she wanted.

She already took the Spiderman franchise away from us, so in my book, she's a liar and a thief.

My personal opinion is that the Judge doesn't really believe that she has a stalker either. She's already flying on pixie dust, bad movies, and worse haircuts, why not let her continue living in a downward spiral of make-believe.

Chrismahannukwanzaakah

2008-12-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday Edna and I opened our hearts and our home up to our friends for our annual Chrismahannukwanzaakah celebration and white elephant gift exchange.

Edna was especially excited to don her favorite Christmas outfit and entertain guests.

Kande was especially festive this year, dressed as Mrs. Clause.

All the gifts were unwrapped, the Tortle Bars were eaten, and a good time was had by all. I feel especially lucky, since I managed to get that lindy hop DVD that has been on my list for so long. Edna spent all day recovering from all the excitement.

Tortle Bars and Grazing Day

2008-12-20T09:24:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was 'grazing day' at the OC. Grazing-day is when everyone brings in a tray or two of food (with 1600 people that's a lot of food) and then everyone walks around all day long and eats. It's kind of like working at Chuck-A-Rama, except instead of wiping down tables or clearing plates, you actually get paid to eat the food all day long. I completely disagree with the entire idea, nevertheless I participated.

I had been wanting to make these Tortle Bars for awhile, I got the recipe from my mom, who got them from my Aunt Lenny, they were a hit, and really pretty easy to make.

Tortle Bars:

2 cups flour

2 cups quick oats

1 1/2 cups brown sugar

1 1/4 cups melted butter

1 tsp. baking soda

1/2 tsp. salt

Mix all together, press into jelly roll pan and bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes

Remove from oven and drizzle with 1 jar of caramel ice cream topping. (I use the smuckers size)

Top with package of milk chocolate chips and bake another 15 minutes. Let cool completely before cutting.

Alternate to make it more like a real Turtle:

Mix up the bottom crust mixture and put half of it into a 9x13, then put the layer of choc chips and some chopped pecans. Blend 3T of flour with the caramel so it's thicker and put that layer down, and then top with the rest of the crust mixture. Bake it for 15-20 min at 350. (If you do it that way, it's called Oatmeal Caramelitos, just in case you want to know).

All the Tortle bars were gone in about 2 hours. But that's not saying a lot, since all the food was gone in about 3.

In our group, we took our customized trays and made 2 rounds, (1 for breakfast, 1 for lunch) I've never eaten Chili Verde and little smokies at 830am before, but I think the trend might take off.

I've been working at the OC for 8 months now, and I was amazed at how happy everyone was on grazing day. Keep us fat and happy, fat and happy.

Lunch Table Media

2008-12-19T10:55:00.000-08:00

This Christmas, my co-worker Angie and I decided to do a little something special for our friends that we eat lunch with at the OC. We decided to jointly make customized lunch trays for everyone.

We decided to spray paint everyone's name and extension on the back of a tray.

Using the magick of Adobe Illustrator we created some simple, and classy designs using a clever font.

Thanks in part go to a very generous donation made by Daniel Larson and Fastsigns of Provo for providing the very fine spray masks.

The final product....

This is a picture of our lunch table group with our individual trays. Everyone around the company is pretty jealous since the trays each have their own color and personalization.

Thanks to Angie for the great idea. It was a hit.

The Bat-Elephant

2008-12-18T07:58:00.001-08:00

This picture doesn't even make sense, there's no way that batman can keep an elephant in his utility belt.

I think you've jumped the shark with this one Adam West

Nothing says 'Happy Holidays' quite like a photo of Batman riding an elephant.

Merry Christmas from OC Tanner

2008-12-18T07:37:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago my department at work took our annual Christmas photo. I helped Garrick out with taking the photos, he returned the favor by collaging all the good ones everyone took into this little masterpiece, complete with me right in the middle.

Thanks Garrick.

Edna's Reviews: Four Christmases

2008-12-17T07:55:00.000-08:00

In light of the spirit of Christmas, I went and treated myself to a holiday movie titled ‘Four Christmases’ last weekend. It overflowed with holiday themes. Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon starred as a couple that are forced to spend the Christmas holiday visiting each of their divorced parents, and hilarity ensues.

Personally, I don’t care for the acting styles of Vince Vaughn, because I think he comes from the acting school that believes ‘if I talk really fast and make random connections then it’s funny’, plus, he’s a giant bear of a man. Reese Witherspoon, whose chin is especially pointy, makes you wonder if Ryan Philippe thinks that getting divorced is the worst career move he’s ever made. She does have an Oscar, what does Ryan have? Child support.

This movie had a slew of other notable actors in it, first and foremost, Saturn Award winner Mary Steenburgen, whose performance is outstanding as always. (Kudos Ted Danson, your wife is as talented as she is tanned.). We also enjoyed Oscar winners Jon Voight (who got about 3 minutes of stage time), Robert Duvall (who’s acting career peaked in Newsies), Sissy Spacek (who has such acting credits as ‘Hot Rod’, ‘The Ring Two’ and ‘Blast from the Past’). Plus Tim McGraw has a role in this too, but nobody seems to notice him.

My personal favorite is up and coming actress Kristen Chenoweth, who should have gotten to sing a song if they’re going to cast her. I think she’s gold in everything she touches. I would see this movie just for her.

Overall, I give this movie 3 reindeer and a candy cane for effort, except for Kristen Chenoweth and Mary Steenburgen, they sweep the event with 4 reindeer and eleven pipers piping. It is quite a kick in the pants watching all these powerhouse actors face off. If you find yourself lacking in Christmas spirit this holiday season I highly recommend taking the time.

Christmas Crooning

2008-12-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

There's nothing better than Anne Murray crooning about Christmas.

Nothing

Christmas Cheer

2008-12-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

This is funny. Mostly because stuff like this happens to me all the time. Plus it's Christmas themed.

Edna's Best of the Season

2008-12-09T15:10:00.000-08:00

Edna has been listening exclusively to holiday music since thanksgiving, and she has a very discerning ear for what she finds appealing. Thus year, her new favorite has been this new album by Kristen Chenowith. Edna also enjoys Kristen on her recently cancelled TV show Pushing Daisies. Give a listen, you won't be disappointed.

Edna’s other favorite this holiday season is, as always, Herb Alpert's Christmas Album. Every once in awhile someone will chime in singing, but you can’t help but notice Herb’s brilliance.

Edna was also excited to find out that Harry Connick, Jr. had released a new holiday album. Sadly, it’s not that great. And he’s jewish, so it doesn’t even make sense. Plus he has a bunch of children's choirs singing in the background, and everyone knows children's choirs are breeding grounds for nazi's and social deviants.

Her least favorite has been this one: Merry Mixmas. Someone took the classics and remixed them with some pop-style beats. Edna does not approve. You don’t mess with the classics.

Edna's Christmas List

2008-12-08T10:14:00.001-08:00

Edna has very particular tastes for what she allows me to wear. Her Christmas list includes an update to my wardrobe for my business casual attire. Anything featured in this picture would fit nicely in with the dress code at OC Tanner. I hope to be in next years photo shoot for the plaid stallions

What am i thinking

2008-12-04T12:31:00.001-08:00

You tell me....

Leave your comment below and fill in the blank

Bulldog vs. Cheezdoodles

2008-12-03T12:32:00.000-08:00

Edna's long lost cousin has some of the same sleeping/eating habits that she does.

Christmas Came Early

2008-12-02T12:15:00.000-08:00

This year, Edna told me the only thing she wanted for christmas was a new tree. I always have a hard time telling her no, so I talked to my brother Matthew and he really came through for us.

This magnificent blue spruce (they're lighter) goes from floor to ceiling in the living room of 152 Sunset. It is quite a bit bigger around than our old tree, but really fine looking.

I put on some Christmas music, and started trimming the tree. At first, Edna didn't care for this new addition to the household, but she's warming up to the idea of Christmas, especially after it turned out looking so nice.

It's great to have a tree that can hold so many ornaments and you can put things in beyond just the outer layer. (I moved that one knit ornament that's in this picture around to the window side, because I think it's ugly)

The lights went up on the outside of the house, and Christmas is in full swing!
Edna couldn't be happier.

Edna's Jokes

2008-12-01T13:37:00.000-08:00

I know I'm a nerd when I think this is hilarious

Sunset Thanksgiving.

2008-11-25T14:51:00.000-08:00

This last Sunday Edna & I invited 23 of our closest friends over to have an early thanksgiving dinner.

We borrowed tables and chairs and had just enough dishes and silverware to get by. We cooked the turkeys and made everyone else bring sides. With 36 total pounds cooked, there are a lot of leftovers.

I read somewhere it's good to put the butter underneath the skin, so that's what those lumps are. It turned out REALLY good.
Everyone showed up and had a great time, especially Edna,

I meant to take pictures of the aftermath, but I forgot. It was a disaster though. It was like Thanksgiving exploded in the living room. There was food and gravy everywhere. It was a great party though.

Edna's Recent Movie Reviews

2008-11-23T12:59:00.000-08:00

Edna is quite a film buff, but sometimes I leave her at home and go out to see a film without her. Here are my recent reviews:

Twilight: The defining film of our generation. Pretty much the best movie ever made. Anyone who thinks otherwise is dumb.

Quantum of Solace: Thoroughly enjoyable. James Bond runs a lot in this movie. A LOT. I felt like I had run a marathon after leaving the theater. If you can, review Casino Royale again before watching Quantum, you'll follow it better.

Edna Vs. The Gravy

2008-11-21T09:37:00.001-08:00

Last night was bath night for Edna. But before she bathed, Edna got a very special treat of left over pot roast and some gravy. Edna is not a very patient lady, so when I made her wait to eat her pot roast so that I could take some pictures, she just about lost her mind.

Waiting like a good girl.

Drooling like she's never seen food before.

More Drool

Is it time yet?

Going to town

Any More?

Mmmm... Delicious

It was like christmas came early for Edna, and she was in such a good mood she got in the bathtub without any argument. In the battle versus the gravy, Edna won (she always does)

Art (not as in Garfunkel)

2008-11-20T13:54:00.000-08:00

A while ago the 5 of us that eat breakfast & lunch together decided that we would do an art project. We decided that we would each bring in 4 copies of a picture of ourselves to give to the group, and then each of us would take those 4 photos and artistically render them in a style of our choosing. I had the following four pictures to work with

Eric

Garrick

Elledge

Angie

I decided to use the magick of photoshop to stylize their pictures in the style of Warhol. Here's how they came out:

I thought they turned out pretty darn classy.

Here's the photo I gave them of myself:

And here's how they turned out:

Eric's

Garrick's

Angie's

Elledge wasn't quite done with his, so there's one still short. But it was a fun and different project. In the end, I felt like a bit of a cheater since I did mine all on a computer, but they all turned out great. (And I like pop art)

OC Tanner

2008-11-19T13:07:00.000-08:00

Everyday I go to work so that Edna can maintain her life of luxury. I spend my days in a small cubicle behind a pillar and right in between the kitchen and the bathroom. The building is pretty paranoid about who they let in here, so here's how I get into the building

Each morning at 7:55 or sometimes 8:03 I park the all new Nissan Rogue behind the building and walk through a rotating door.

After scanning my badge and going through a gate I go down a few hallways and up some stairs.

This is a big sitting area I walk by and no one ever uses.

When I get to my area I go around this big mirrored column and there is my cubicle and desk tucked away.

Using the magic of photoshop I labeled everything I need to do my job. Some other things come in handy too, like my ipod.

Here's me at work, in a cubicle, behind a column, in a building, in Utah, working on a brochure. Some day I'm expecting OC Tanner will change their policy and allow bulldogs in the building. I keep an area under my desk clear for Edna at all times just waiting for that policy to change. I think the way things run around here might be just her pace.

Nothing is Classier

2008-11-19T10:54:00.000-08:00

There's nothing classier than Bill Shatner. Kudos for having S-T-Y-L-E

Style

Saturday is a Special Day

2008-11-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

Saturday's are chore days. And Edna is no exception. There's nothing better than putting on some Herb Alpert, getting on your work clothes, rolling up your sleeves, and making sure that the house gets cleaned up.

Edna is quite a taskmaster. She makes sure to inspect all freshly cleaned areas. A freshly vacuumed rug is the best place for napping, and she likes to re-mop the floor with her nose and tongue looking for anything edible.

Our Weekend

2008-11-17T12:05:00.000-08:00

Edna and I had quite a weekend. I was emptying the dishwasher on Saturday and discovered that I had somehow run my all new iPhone through a cycle, complete with heated dry. It was spotless because I had just refilled the rinse aid bin, however it was also dripping some water out of the bottom of it...and some things looked as if they had melted a little.

Miraculously, the all-new Iphone still worked, a little, which is a credit to Apple and to however they make their gadgets, but I could quickly tell that the iPhone would never recover.

I read some articles online which had a few ideas of how to fix it. There are some different ideas out there about how to fix a water damaged cell phone. They include:
1) Placing the phone in a bowl of dry rice or silica packets
2) Putting the phone in the fridge repeatedly for 25 minute periods
3) Putting the phone in an open oven set to 150 degrees
4) Putting the phone under the fridge
5) Soak the phone in distilled vinegar for a day, then dry thoroughly
6) Hit the phone with a hammer several times.

I tried to put it in the fridge once but it didn’t help much since I kept opening it and checking on it.

By the next morning it still wasn’t working, and things were looking grim. I chose an additional method not listed on the internet:
7) Call in a big favor to a friend at the Apple store and have him replace it.
This method seemed the best solution.

It's possible that the iPhone jumped into the dishwasher on it's own because I use it primarily to store my Anne Murray collection.

What, a Whirlwind.

Halloween 2008

2008-11-17T08:01:00.000-08:00

Edna had a very fun Halloween, she dressed up as a Jailbird. She liked the shirt, she hated the hat though. She also didn't care much for her ball and chain

As for me, I was Dr. Horrible from the popular online blog. starring Neil Patrick Harris and Patrick Fillion.
Here's me as Dr. Horrible and my roommate Aaron as my arche-enemy Captain Hammer. The original actors are below (in case you can't tell the difference)

Edna could barely contain herself while she and I handed out candy, she loves meeting new people.